Yakuza Paranoia II: Acid Town
by Yuruki14
Summary: AU: With a life full of secrets, Zero is having a hard time raising his own set of twins as a single father. Part time jobs just aren't making the cut, and with no family to turn to he has no idea what to do. One night, he meets a beautiful man with secrets of his own who may be Zero's only way out, but it was only meant to be a one night deal. KanamexZero Mafia fic! All human
1. Chapter 1

Summary: AU: With a life full of adversity and secrets, Zero Kiryu is having a difficult time trying to raise his own set of twins as a single father. Part time jobs just aren't making the cut, and with no family to turn to, Zero's feeling incredibly overwhelmed and has no idea what to do or who to turn to. If things go on like this, his only choice will be to… One night he meets a beautiful man who has secrets of his own, that could be his only way out, but it was only meant to be a one night deal. The ambiguity emanating from this person might be enough to scare Zero away or make him question every truth he's ever known. The bastard is reluctant to let the silverette go, in fact, he blatantly refuses to, but why? There must be a deeper reason, and Zero will stop at nothing to figure it all out. Mafia fic! KanamexZero All human.

Warnings for this story: It's a mafia fic, so guns, blood, theft, and other gang activities like murder and shanking. Kaname isn't a very nice person in this story… somewhat of an asshole, but so is Zero so it's okay. Uhm, sins and danger and secrecy play a huge part in this story, so be prepared for the unexpected. That's all I can say right now haha Also, there is one OC that isn't really OC, but you'll see in later chapters. You'll like her though, but I won't reveal anything more.

This story is one of three, but each Yakuza Paranoia fic isn't related to another plot wise. The only thing that ties them together is the Mafia-like theme and the title.

This is multi-chapters.

ALSO, IF YOU ARE NOT RELIGIOUS OR CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC PLEASE FORGIVE THE COUPLE OF PARAGRAPHS IN THE BEGINNING. YOU MAY SKIP THEM.

**Yakuza Paranoia II: Hearts Yearning a Home**

**Chapter I**

Thy soul shall find itself alone

'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone—

Not one, of all the crowd, to pry

Into thine hour of secrecy:

Be silent in the solitude

Which is not loneliness—for then

The spirits of the dead who stood

In life before thee are again

In death around thee—and their will

Shall overshadow thee: be still.

The night—tho' clear—shall frown—

And the stars shall look not down,

From their high thrones in the heavens,

With light like Hope to mortals given—

But their red orbs, without beam,

To thy weariness shall seem

As a burning and a fever

Which would cling to thee for ever.

Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish—

Now are visions ne'er to vanish—

From thy spirit shall they pass

No more—like dew-drop from the grass.

The breeze—the breath of God—is still—

And the mist upon the hill

Shadowy—shadowy—yet unbroken,

Is a symbol and a token—

How it hangs upon the trees,

A mystery of mysteries!—

_Spirits of the Dead_

_Edgar Allan Poe_

XOXOXO

(From the Bible)

_Man that is born of a woman hath but a short time to live, and is full of misery. He cometh up, and is cut down like a flower; he fleeth as it were a shadow, and never continueth in one stay._

_In the midst of life we are in death; of whom may we seek for succor, but of thee, O Lord, who for our sins art justly displeased? Yet, O Lord God most holy, O Lord most mighty, O holy and most merciful Savior, deliver us not into the bitter pains of eternal death._

_Thou knowest, Lord, the secrets of our hearts; shut not thy merciful ears to our prayer; but spare us, Lord most holy, O God most mighty, O holy and merciful Savior, thou most worthy Judge eternal, suffer us not, at our last hour, for any pains of death, to fall from thee._

_Like as a father pitieth his own children; even so is the Lord merciful unto them that fear him._

_For he knoweth whereof we are made; he remembereth that we are but dust. The days of man but are grass; for they flourisheth as a flower of the field. For the wind goeth over it, and it is gone; and the place thereof shall know it no more. But the merciful goodness of the Lord endureth for ever and ever upon children's children._

_We commend unto thy hands of mercy, most merciful Father, the soul of this our sister departed, and we commit her body to the ground. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; and we beseech thine infinite goodness to give us grace to live in thy fear and love and to die in thy favour, that when the judgment shall come which thou hast committed to thy well-beloved Son, both this our sister and we may be found acceptable in thy sight. Grant this, O merciful Father, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our only Savior, Mediator, and Advocate._

_Amen._

"I heard a voice from heaven, saying unto me, write, From wence forth blessed are the dead which die in the Lord even so saith the Spirit; for they rest from their labours. Unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen."

"Lord, have mercy upon us."

_Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil._

_Amen._

XOXOXO

The buzzing, beeping, busy sound of the antique alarm clock he'd refused to throw out after suffering through so many long night wake up calls together, echoed around the enclosed room until out from the cover of darkness came a giant pale limb to whoosh through the air and slam down upon the insufferable object. It had the added effect and allowed the irritated man at rest to have a few more peaceful moments of silence until he was fully awake, alert, and ready for anything that could be thrown his way. By all means, he has never, will never, and wont be an optimist, in fact that day was one he was terribly dreading, as it was Monday(the start of the new week), but he often forced himself to be for it was required—not desired.

As the young man opened his gem-like eyes to the blackened morning around him, he was weary of the thought of going on but simply one more day. If it weren't for his children and the uncertainty of what would potentially happen to them if he were gone, he would've already done something regrettable. He'd never, even in his youth, been all right in the head. As he contemplated all of that, an outline of a figure dusted across his peripheral vision. Knowing trouble was brewing, but deciding to figure out for sure if the thing was indeed what he thought it was, he took a second glance. By then, Zero had already accepted the ghost of the woman he'd loved since childhood would haunt him until the day he'd die—figuratively, although he'd much prefer it otherwise. He saw her everywhere. Beside him in bed, sleeping peacefully and breathing breathlessly as she often did, cooking imaginary food by the stove while he read drank his coffee at the table, helping to wake up the kids in the morning for breakfast before school, walking him to his job at the café in the morning, and even walking him back in the afternoon to pick up the children from school. He saw her everywhere, even at the more morbid parts of his days and in his most terrifying dreams. Most of the time she was good, she was a guardian angel to all three of them, after all, but sometimes she was his hell. Her reappearing image haunted him in the most sickening of ways. His soul, because of hers, would never be at rest.

Thoughts of her are the only thing that, lately, kept him going despite the many responsibilities he conquered through every single day he walked this earth, no matter how much of a ghost he himself resembled. He loved her with all his being, but if there were a way to get rid of her to stop the relentless assault on his psyche, he would do it in a heart beat. Even then, she was there, waiting patiently by the bedside for him to awaken. She said nothing, only watched him with soulful eyes that saw right into his inner workings, yet seemed so far away as to not really be here in her holographic mind.

Zero reached a sickly thin arm out to touch her, just once hoping that he'd be able to feel her softness and her warmth again and pretend that she was real and alive sitting there beside him, but it was all in vain for his hand passed straight through her and she disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. How he longed for her, that he couldn't help the trail of tears that dripped from his eyes as he shot up from the comfort of the covers ever so quickly to try and grab even a trace left of her. When he opened his fist, there was none, however. Even though he'd endured this time and time again, it still never failed to kill him inside bit by bit. In a furious rage, he slammed his fists down on either side of him. It didn't hurt, nor did it relieve him of his frustration, but he took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. After a moment, he was as fine as he could possibly be and decided to get a move on with his daily routine.

Everyday it was the same. Wake up at six, take a shower to rejuvenate, then after dressing start making a home cooked breakfast. Which, was how he started his day, just like any other. After a thought about what the two hellions might want to eat first thing in the morning, the silver haired father—though not silver from early aging—settled on what was left of the cherries he bought a few days ago and buttermilk pancakes. They were his kids favorite, especially when they had enough peanut butter to spread on like butter before the maple syrup came. He swore, they ate peanut butter with just about everything. So, he mixed up the powered and water in a bowl and turned on one of the burners to preheat before setting the skillet on top of it, coated with fattening butter so that the pancakes didn't stick. If Zero had the money, he'd buy those fancy diamond encrusted, non-stick kitchenware sets that way he and his little ones could eat healthier, but that wish would have to wait for a miracle. For now, he'd stick with the big tub of reduced fat butter he stored in his refrigerator. After pouring out a couple small patties of pancakes onto the pan, he walked down the hallway of his tiny, humbled apartment hallway to the room where his twins slept in order to wake them up. "Maria, Yuuki, time for breakfast."

The two girls continued into dreamland even as their father shook their shoulders gently and stroked their knotted hair. It would be a challenge for Zero to fix their tresses that morning, he dreaded. They slept in the same small bed, even though each had their own. They never wanted to be apart, even when sleeping or bathing, just as Zero and his twin had been when they were little. Zero saw a lot of himself and Ichiru in his offspring, but he also saw his late wife, and both ideas hurt his heart so he preferred not to think of such things. Yuuki was the oldest, but she might as well have been the younger one because of how she acted. Even now she curled around her sister's miniature arm for comfort and support and safety, while her younger sister, the more mature one, intertwined her fingers in Yuuki's. They were always like that, much to Zero's contentment. He hoped they'd always stay in each other's favor.

A simple, "I made pancakes," had them up and bolting for the kitchen in two seconds flat. With wide eyes and astonished faces, they ridiculed their father with, "why didn't you say so sooner, daddy?" and, "we love pancakes!"

A soft chuckle, one that only comes out when a parents laughs with their children, leaves his lips and he quickly follows behind the two as they try not to trip over their two-sizes-too-big night gowns and make their way to the kitchen table. Unbeknownst to the kids, their mommy was also sitting at the table waiting for her breakfast, much as she does every morning. Quietly, he whispered a goodmorning to her then he grabbed a spatula to flip the pancakes. He didn't want to burn them, so he'd turn them down lower than usual when he went to wake his daughters, but they still somehow managed to get burnt. If he had his damn kitchenware he wanted, maybe that wouldn't happen!

"Yuuki, honey, do you want to grab the syrup from the fridge and Maria, can you reach the peanut butter in the pantry? There should be a stool you can step up on if you can't reach it, just be careful. Oh, and there are cherries you two need to finish in the bottom drawer if you want to get those, too, Yuu."

Yuuki's childish voice reached his ears first, "Okay, Daddy, I'll get the cherries."

Then Maria's with a, "Peanut butter is so yummy, Daddy, but I think you need to buy more."

Zero laughed again. He'd just bought that tub of PB the other day when he bought the fruit. His family really did go through it so fast, it was incredible. "Alright, Maria, next time I'll buy the big jar, just for you, okay?"

"Really?!" She was so excited, so thrilled, that even Zero started to feel giddy. The two girls really could effect him in ways that made his heart warm and happy that no one else could ever do to him now, not after everything that's happened. "You'll really buy the big one? Just for me?"

"Well, you'll have to share with your sister, of course, but yes, it'll be for you two. I love you girls." They replied that they loved him too, just like every morning. The three pancakes he made were done, so he flipped them onto a plate and served it at the table. He went back to turn off the stove and put away the mix before taking his seat at the head of the table and giving everyone a pancake of their own. He spread on the peanut butter for them so that they wouldn't make a mess and poured a decent amount of sugary maple syrup on top of each pancake. He let them get their own cherries before he took what was left and placed them on his own plate.

"Eat quick, we're running a little late, and that hair is going to take a while."

After breakfast, the girls went to get dressed and gather their homework they did last night together while Zero washed the dishes and put away all the stuff they had out. When they came back out, Maria had thoughtfully brought a pink brush with her. It was her favorite one because it didn't pull her hair too much and it was her favorite color, that was her logic anyway, and her dad just went with it. He was thankful though, that they never complained too much about getting their hair weeded out and that they, relatively, had tough scalps. "Alright, let's set to work." They were just as exasperated as he was, but they giggled their little girl giggle and talked about their dreams to keep each other distracted as Zero set to work on brushing and braiding their hair.

"I dreamed we lived in a big mansion with lots of pink ponies that we could ride and all kinds of friends we could play with, and we always held hands, Yuuki, even when we were mad at each other."

"Well I dreamed that Mom was he—"

"Alright, Yuuki, you're done. It's Maria's turn."

Maria looked skeptical at the favored brush, thinking long and hard, it seemed to Zero, with her pointer finger pushing up her lower lip. "Can you put mine in a French braid?"

The silver haired man wavered in speech. "D-do you even know what a French braid is?" There was no way he could do something so complex. On an ordinary day, it was a wonder he could even do a regular braid, let alone something so intricate—too complex for a male character who had never ever in his life had hair long enough to _French_ braid.

The precious look on her chubby cheeks shrank and altered. Lately Zero had seen more and more frowns on his little girls' faces and he didn't like it one bit, yet he wasn't sure how to change something when the cause for it was unknown. "Not exactly… but I heard a girl on TV talking about her hair. I want to be pretty like her, Daddy."

Oh, so that was it. Well, maybe he could do a regular braid and try to make it so perfect that she couldn't even tell. He didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't want to disappoint her either, so it was just easier to do it that way. "Maria, you're already the most beautiful little girl on the planet, just like your sister."

She pouted, crossing her thin arms over her small chest. "You're the only one who thinks so, Papa."

"That's not true," Zero finalized. "Yuuki thinks so, too, don't you?"

Yuuki wrapped her little arms around her equally tiny sister and brushed her matted hair from her forehead. "That's right, Marry, I love you and I think you're so pretty, just like Mommy. She'd be so happy."

"Really?" Yuuki nodded a confirmation. "You too, Yuu. You're pretty, too." They smiled at each other, and Zero reassured her that he'd try his best to do a French braid, but he'd never done it before. Maria didn't care as long as he tried to make her look like the girl on TV. After a good ten minutes of attempting a French braid, Zero just did a normal braid and wrapped it around in a bun on the back of her head. It was easy to convince her it was French, but he felt bad for not being able to do it. Perhaps he'd ask one of his female friends for some pointers.

Maria wasted no time in rushing toward the bathroom to look at her new hairdo in the mirror. Zero and Yuuki trotted after her, rather lazily compared to the energetic tyke. "Wow, is this what it looks like? I feel like a ballerina, Papa—so pretty!" The look on her flawless baby face as she poked and prodded and _felt_ the mess Zero somehow managed to make _seem _beautiful really told them that she _knew_ it was beautiful. Zero had a sneaky suspicion that even if she realized it wasn't actually the kind of style she wanted, that she'd be content with it, anyway. "Thank you so much!" A hug followed.

"Next time, Daddy, you can give me a Thw—a Fw—Fe… a braid like Marry's, too, 'kay?"

Zero laughed and brought little Yuuki into the group hug, as well. "Of course, Yuu."

It was seven thirty and it was time to drop the girls off at school. Quickly, he pulled on their jackets for them and helped them put their arms through the straps of their cartoon-charactered backpacks. They loved shows with talking animals and girly colors. It was five blocks to the elementary school, two of which Zero carried them. Maria hung from his neck and Yuuki wrapped herself around his leg so that every step felt like an unbalanced ankle weight to the young man, he didn't mind though because he loved taking care of them. Thank God they weren't overweight or he'd never make it to the school. Once they did, though, he let the two girls down, took their hands, and walked them to the door. They let go of Zero's hand to take hold of each others and enter through the opened front entrance, but not before running and giving their Dad the biggest hug of his life and saying their farewells.

He wished he could follow them into the school and just be with them all day to watch over them, protect them, and to see what they do all day, but due to government safety laws and the fact that he had to be at work at the café at eight thirty, he couldn't. Alas, he would just be resorted to worry about Maria and Yuuki until two o'clock ruled around and he got off work to take the kids back home. He watched them until they disappeared from sight and a few seconds after and then he turned on his heels, ignoring all the other parents and children to go off to his job as a waiter for the local café in uptown.

It was a small place, lively, clean, and_ busy._ That's what gave it its charm, though, and what attracted Zero to it. It was a little too cheery for his liking, but there was something about it that reminded him of his all-time favorite quality about his kids and his lost love. For that, Zero could withstand the overbearing optimism that every older regular encompassed that early in the morning, the occasional costumer complaints about the quality or quantity of the food, or any mistaken and erroneous orders, and of course, the tired sluggishness of every morning co-worker Zero had the utmost _privilege _of working with. All except one, that is, that the lavender-eyed man could actually withstand and get along with—a marvel in and of itself—and her name was Sayori Wakaba, or Yori for short. One could say the only reason for their good relationship was the nostalgia he probably felt being around her, as she was one if his late wife's many friends.

"How are things lately, Zero-san?" Their lunch break had come fairly quickly that day, and seeing as how he wasn't going to say anything, the young blonde woman took it upon herself to start up a conversation. "With Maria and Yuuki… and you."

Zero sighed, rubbing his temples in an attempt to sooth his oncoming headache. As simple a question it was, it had an arduous and vexatious answer that pulled out and overwhelmed messy shell of himself that wasn't there until his wife died and left him alone to care for his children. Indeed it was a difficult topic for Zero to discuss, but he couldn't hide anything from Yori—never could. She was one of the few people who remained immune to his troubled ways and stubborn personality. "The girls are… old enough now to start questioning what's happened. All of their friends from school have a mother, even the ones whose parents are divorced. One day soon I'll have to tell them the entire truth, and I'm afraid they'll hate me for it."

Yori lightly placed her feminine hand atop his narrowed shoulder, and although she felt the malnourishment, she said nothing about it and instead carried on with the present conversation. "They love you, Zero, there's no question. They might feel betrayed or something similar, they're children after all and have a different way of thinking, but they'll get over it and bounce back just as quickly. It's better you tell them sooner rather than later, anyway, so don't worry so much. I'm more worried… about everything else."

"Don't be, I don't need pitied."

"That's…" Yori directed her gaze at the ground, caught. "It's just that… Well, have you found a way to pay your bills? You know, if you need help I have a little bit of money stashed away for times like this—"

"Stop, just stop, Yori." Zero stood up from his seat on the terrace at the back of the café. There was no way he'd let his wife's best friend waste her hard earned cash on him, no matter how much she loved his kids. "I can't let you do that. Not you." The female knew when to keep quiet and stop the argument before she made Zero say something he didn't mean to, and now was not the time to pursue her point and generosity. She'd have no qualm problem giving her savings over to Zero to help him, Maria, and Yuuki, but if he didn't want it she couldn't force it on him. "I'm sorry, it's just hard, y'know… Listen, do you want to come over this weekend? We can take Yuu and Marry to the park for a picnic or something. You're not working on Saturday, are you?"

Smiling, Yori answered in the negative. "No, I don't. I'll be there. But, do you mind if I bring a friend?"

"As long as they like children."

"Oh, she does."

When he got off, he picked up his twins and took them home. He helped them with their homework, fed them dinner that he skipped out on in order to do some financing to come up with a plan to pay for his long overdue bills, watched them play with their worn down doll house, and bathed them both, all before putting them to bed at nine. He had to be at his second job in an hour and if he wanted to make it there in time, he'd have to leave within the next couple minutes.

"Goodnight, girls, I love you." They were already fast asleep by the time he shut the wooden door and left the apartment.

It was late, and Zero was beyond tired, but he knew he couldn't afford to skip work anymore for a while. He had already missed his last couple of payments on his bills and he desperately needed to get back on track. The last time he called off was about two weeks ago when Yuuki came down with a cold and needed someone to look after her and give her medicine three times a day. Needless to say, it didn't go over very well with Zero's asshole bosses. The one who owned the café in uptown was a little more understanding and had asked Zero to just make up the hours, which he did, but his boss from the bar almost fired him. It took a great deal of begging and… submission on Zero's part for the guy to reconsider. They didn't do anything regrettable, by all means Zero wouldn't have let the voyeur have the satisfaction, but he did have to agree to a few new rules that he still wasn't proud of. That's how he ended up in the kitchen of the bar talking to his coworker and newly found friend, Kaito, preparing for another night of undecided bar-hoppers, meretricious hookers, unlawful drug dealers, and distrustful gang members, all of whom wish to partake in the art of drinking on a Monday night. Really, no sensible person would ever nor should ever drink any day before the favored weekend or outside of celebrations.

It was barely ten o'clock and already people were filing in like that place was a free health department that offered condoms and candy as soon as one would walk through the entrance door. Then again, people were like that, weren't they. Depressed and irated with life so they'd eat by the handfuls all the wrong food and have angry sex with one another just to feel alive and like they belonged somewhere. They were all the usual type, underdressed skanks and poorly dressed hobos, gangsters that dressed too young and could've been mistaken as underage if Zero hadn't carded them, but for all he knew they had fake IDs anyway. Oh well, it wasn't his problem if their mother's and father's hadn't stressed the moralities and justice of God and the law. One person, though, had entered the bar that Zero couldn't place in any category. He didn't belong there, but he might as well have for how quickly and efficiently he sat down and ordered a glass of red wine.

"You look tired." As much as it sounded like a harmless statement, Zero knew that the other man was trying to start up a conversation. What's the harm in humoring the attractive fellow just a little, Zero thought, maybe it'll brighten up this night. The man was very easy on the eyes, after all, and what were a few drawn out minutes of appreciating the ethereal crimson glow of his chocolate brown orbs in the dimness of the bar or the perfectly placed, dancing shadows that glided over the surface of his pale face. Zero didn't think there was any harm in surrendering to his more primal instincts. It's not like he'd ever see him again after tonight, anyway, not unless he happened to stumble into this filthy, meager, drunkard slum of a bar again. That was unlikely, however, Zero concluded after another thought. The mysterious man looking for a banter in front of him was dressed too nicely, presented himself too formally, and held an air of superiority that didn't belong in the downtown ghetto, let alone in one of its… more suspicious institutions. In fact, the reason he was there was still a frontal, floating question in Zero's head. Perhaps he'd ask the stranger, but whether or not he'd answer all depended on the level of secrecy that inquisition detained.

Zero smiled small, almost sarcastically, but the saddened downcast of his eyes betrayed his forced charade. "Having two jobs'll do that to ya." He wanted it to come out light, almost jokingly, but the seriousness of having two kids to raise on his own overpowered the jovial tone. He did have two jobs, but he didn't know why he felt the need to relay his whole life story to a man he hadn't even officially met yet. Maybe it was the expressionless façade he put on that reminded Zero so much of himself, how he had to be in order to deal with everything that's happened to him—not that he wanted to admit to being unable to handle himself.

"What," the stranger commented, "tending alcohol in this… top notch establishment isn't enough for a handsome young man such as you?" As he took a delicate taste of the red liquid the silver haired bartender had given him earlier, he stared blatantly at Zero, who couldn't resist chuckling to himself. His pupils narrowed into slits and his glass lowered back down to the wooden table, all the while holding the gaze of lavender. Inconspicuously to Zero, he questioned further in an alluring whisper, "Or is it, something else?"

Suddenly, Zero broke the connection to see what another customer wanted to drink. The man who had walked in was middle-aged and practically tripped over his own two feet while he walked, leading the stranger to believe that the old man was drunk hours before he showed up here, and he didn't find him the least bit interesting, so he waited patiently for Zero to return to him. He watched the puffed out fabric of Zero's sleeve whoosh and sway every time he moved his slender arm about to keep his focus on something until, finally, Zero looked his way once more. "Uhm," he rubbed the back of his neck, "I also work at the local café uptown, but only in the mornings. It's… a little nicer there. Just don't tell my boss I said that." It was his second attempt at a joke, one that, once again, did not convince the one before him.

"Of course not." The same sensual drawl of his voice made the silverette's face heat up and his stomach twist with an unknown upset. So much so, that it was nearly impossible for him to look at the said enchantment. "Forgive me," he leaned in closer, as did Zero at the sudden low voice. His breath was felt on the man's hot cheeks as he spoke. "But I'm curious… Why work here if you have a much better job?"

Zero choked. How could he tell this person, this outsider, something so personal? That was the thing, wasn't it? He couldn't tell him. He wouldn't. He didn't want pity and he didn't want to seem like he needed help, no matter the fact that he really did. He'd have to lie, lie or come up with some seemingly plausible excuse or… or he could stay within his moral boundaries and avoid the subject. Yeah, that's what he'd do. "Eh," he shrugged, trying to come up with something to say to change the subject. "It isn't all bad here. The regulars are entertaining, anyway."

"You mean, like him?" A thumb pointed its way towards the old man that had came in a few minutes ago, the face that finger belonged to wore an expression of charm, laughing at his own comment. The sound was a melody to the pierced ear of our protagonist, one such song that he could not ignore. He found the laughter intoxicating, swoon-worthy, and he wanted to hear more. He'd give anything to hear more.

"Yeah," the young father agreed. "He's the one who snores in the corner booth of every good crime movie's gutter bar. Y'know, the one who we all feel sorry for because one wrong happening in our daily lives could lead us to the same predicament, and yet we all laugh at his misfortune anyway because a small part in every one of us is too proud and naïve to ever think that anything could happen to us that we couldn't handle. But… it happens more than we think." Lavender eyes are again cast downwards, ashamed at his own inner battling with self-sufficiency. A memory of his family flashed behind his eyes.

The stranger sympathized, and carefully planted his firm hand on top of an unsure Zeros. "Sounds like you know more about that than the average person." Zero was shocked to say the least. That little bit of physical contact was enough to rattle his core and he wasn't sure if he should be furious that the guy thought he knew everything of Zero's past or that he touched Zero so intimately to which he should scream in his face for, _or_ if he should turn his back to the creep and refuse to serve him any more, _or_ if he should shake the surprise from his appearance and act like it never happened, _or_ if he should… no, there was no other option, no matter how much his heart hurt to think of it. As much as he hated to acknowledge it, the chestnut highlighted brunette hair of that male, with his ghostly pale skin and slightly feminine angles of his face and the so close resemblance of the almond eyes of his lost love was just enough to have his soul longing for the one he was so long ago bound to forever. Whether he was willing to say it aloud or carry on with his heart's desires, he wanted to touch that man, to feel the smoothness of his face and the luster of his hair and the length of his eyelashes in order to compare them to his love, his wife. He was confused, the man made him that way, and he wasn't sure what he thought about it.

Without moving his hand from the oddly strengthened grip of the other, he moved his gaze up into the ones so similar to… and what he saw there made his eyes widen. He tried to pull his hand away from him, but the grasp only tightened. He started to panic, his heart beating erratically. He couldn't take the look of that man any more, he had to get away from him or risk losing all self control. "I'm sorry, you never told me your name." He only said it to try to coerce him into self-assurance that Zero wouldn't run away from him if he let go, despite how much he wanted to, but he never anticipated getting an answer.

"You may call me Kaname."

"Kana…me?" Zero didn't know why that name sounded so familiar, and couldn't remember where he'd heard it before, but it would bother him relentlessly until he figured it all out. A familiar image of the one he loved sits in the corner of the room, dressed in dark clothing, black hair hanging in front of her petite face. Her aura was terrifying, and knowing he's the only one to feel it only adds to his horror. Her materializing there at that very moment wasn't a coincidence, and it caused a cold sweat to break out over his neck. "Do I know you?"

Kaname merely smirked. "Not as much as I'd like you to." The facial expression he wore bore no answers, so Zero questioned him, and the smirk the brunette wore only grew deeper, etched into his chiseled features. "From talking to you, I came to understand that you're in a bit of a predicament."

Zero faltered. What was that guy talking about? "You figured me all out in just a few minutes worth of talking?"

"Well, I have a knack for it, you see. In my business I have to analyze every little detail of a person's disposition." Slowly, Kaname drags his elongated fingers over the flesh of his interest's hand and brings it back to his side, his other hand holding his head lazily in its palm. Zero twitched in uncertainty before clasping his fist over his chest. The phantom tingling caused by another's hand on his was so foreign; he hadn't touched any one besides his kids in two years. He hated physical contact.

With resolved, hidden-but-not-so-hidden fury, Zero did the only thing his instinctive defense mechanism would let him and snapped at Kaname. "What kind of business is that?!"

Kaname regarded the troubled man with indifference, showing no emotions was his forte, after all, and interlaced his fingers together underneath his chin. "That doesn't matter right now, but I must admit that I've been a little out of character today."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that…" He sighed as he looked at the insecure Zero again. Kaname could tell that he felt like he was being ridiculed and attacked, but that wasn't the case. If Kaname wanted to do what he came here for then he'd have to take a new approach to ensure absolute success. "Well, I didn't want to seem like a creep, but I have to tell you that I only stopped here to use your restroom. I have a very long trip ahead of me and I never planned on staying—"

"Then why did you?" He snapped again, testy.

"I saw something that caught my attention."

He scoffed, examined by the crimson eyes of Kaname. "And what, pray tell, was that?"

Kaname chuckled humorlessly and flashed his orbs intently to their lilac counterpart. "You."

Something in the brunette's eyes told Zero that he wasn't lying, that he indeed did see something in Zero, something about him that made him want to converse with the bartender. If that were really the case, and even if it weren't, there were so many questions that single word he uttered had formed in the Kiryuu's young mind. What had he seen in Zero? Why did he stop in a bar, of all places, to use the restroom? Why did he want to talk to him, and what about? Zero just didn't understand where the other young man was coming from, but he did want to find out, so he the one question he did ask, without flooding the poor guy with all of his inquiry, was this: "What do you mean?" He thought that summed it up rather nicely.

"I can tell you need help, Zero. I know you do, so don't try to deny it." He caught Zero's protest before he could even get it out. "I'm here to offer you some help."

Help… The very thing Zero was in such desperate need of, but refused to own up to it. He needed help with lots of things, from his own emotional and mental health to taking care of his kids in health, sickness, and mourning, and juggling both jobs with bastard boss's who were out for his head to pay his bills and putting food on the table for his two precious mini-me's. What kind of help was this stranger, who claimed to know everything about him and yet who's only just met him, offering up exactly? "No thanks, I don't need any help."

"Let me rephrase that." He countered quickly. "I'd like you to help me, and in turn, I'll give you some compensation."

"What… what do you mean? What kind of help do you want from me?"

By then, that Kaname person had done nothing that whole night but confuse Zero further and further into total ignorance that he wasn't sure he could dig himself out from that hole of unknowing because no matter how many questions he'd answered, every answer raised more questions. It was a round about cycle that he couldn't break. He tried to fit the pieces together in order to attempt to understand just one thing he was saying, but it was difficult. That's not to say he was unintelligent, because he was very well educated and even graduated from high school with the highest score in his entire grade, yet this matter was different. He knew nothing of this man, or his job, or his purpose and it was all grating on his nerves—and that was saying a lot since he had two seven-year-old children—and he was ready to throw the towel in at any given moment and just completely blow this man off. He wouldn't even feel guilty about it. "I want something from you, Zero, and I don't want to spell it out. You caught my eye, and that very seldom if ever happens for a man like me. Come home with me, and I'll give you all the money you could ever hope to have. You're the only one who'll do."

**XOXOXO**

I'm terribly sorry for anyone who felt offended by anything mentioned, that includes religious references from the bible, anything in Poe's poem, or the decision Zero is sure to make to care for his children.

Also, I'm sure you all have questions about who Zero married, but all will be revealed in due time. I have a very big plot twist intended for this story so just a heads up. Some of the stuff may not be what you're expecting. I'm super excited, and I hope ya'll are too!

Drop a review and I'll answer all questions, comments, or concerns without giving anything important away. They're always read and appreciated, no matter what they say, and they motivate me to write faster! Lord knows how slow I am about that haha.


	2. Chapter 2

I WANT TO SAY A THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO FAVORITED OR ALERTED MY STORY, AND ESPECIALLY SO TO THE REVIEWERS AND THE ONE PERSON WHO PMed ME! Your opinions mean so much and they truly motivate me, even though my drive to write this story is already so strong.

Warnings: Lemons and mentions of lemons, and a lot of language. Hope you're ready!

No one underage, please! I don't want to be the one responsible for corrupting an innocent (or not so innocent) mind!

**Yakuza Paranoia II: Hearts Yearning a Home**

**Chapter II**

"What the _hell_ do you mean I'm the only one who'll do?! Listen, if you need a fix or a stress reliever, go around the corner! I'm sure there's a dozen street rats that'll just love a handsome, rich indulger coming to them. Get the hell away from me and out of my sight, you sick son of a bitch."

Needless to say, Kaname was not impressed, but he wasn't about to let Zero storm off into the back kitchen and draw any more unnecessary attention. "You love your kids, don't you?"

It had the wanted effect and made Zero stop dead in his tracks. He turned to the brunette, beyond furious and bewildered. Twirling around to face Kaname, he got up in his face, though, to the bigger of the two he wasn't very intimidating. "How do you know about my children?"

"I know a lot of things, Zero, about you." That could only shock him more, but in all fairness, Kaname never meant to reveal so much to the boy.

He was in a bind of what to do. Should he run to his apartment, gather up the girls and move far, far away, somewhere no one, especially that Kaname person, could find him, or should he go along for now just to see what he wants, or should he throw himself at the strangers mercy to save his kids? All were a bit dramatic and most likely unnecessary, but they kept Zero from making any rash decisions by distracting him. "T-then what is it that you really want?"

Kaname sighed, exhausted with the conversation already. He had already said too much and he didn't know any other way to convince the silver hair man than to threaten him, but he hoped that he wouldn't have to go too far to get him on his side. "I already told you what I want."

"How… How can you want something like that from me? Surely a woman would be in much better taste." He was insecure about his body, especially after his recent fall in weight, and he definitely did not want to participate in any activity where his clothes come off. Besides, what about his virtue, his dependence on his dead wife? He couldn't betray her, he refuse to. There was no other option than to try to make him re-evaluate is decision.

Piercing red-brown orbs cut through Zero like a laser, reading and calculating, with a purpose. The eyes of the oppressor mesmerized Zero, drew him in like a moth to a flame, but he couldn't feel the warmth or the light, just the _burn_. "You're the only one who'll do."

XOXOXO

It was dark, the flat, when they arrived. It was soundless, smelled like fresh paint, and from Zero could tell, uninhabited. He'd heard of buyers renting motel rooms or bringing the… bought persons to their own homes if they had no known wife or worry of her barging in, but he didn't think there was another option—such as buying out an entire, fully furnished apartment—to carry out such scandalous activities. When the lights were switched on by the man who walked in behind him, he realized just how vacant the place really was. The kitchen had every appliance necessary to soulful cooking, but there was no dining room table. There was only one loveseat couch in the living room, and nothing else. No pictures, no television, no body. Just… emptiness. He was starting to think that the interior of the compartment reflected the inside of the man himself. Was that place ever lived in at all?

The silver beauty was tense and distressed; being so far out of his comfort zone it was ridiculous. He'd never even had a curious thought about another male, about another person, even, other than his wife, and now he was arranging and preparing himself to engage in _homosexual intercourse_. Never ever in his right mind did he ever believe he'd be put in a situation where he'd have to go to such extremes to take care of his kids and make this stranger happy enough for the money he could provide and passive enough not to do anything rash, since he seemed to know so much about him. He didn't want to get on his bad side, and yet being submissive in anything wasn't Zero's style. At all. He'd have to sacrifice a lot, especially if this was going to go the way he thought it'd go. To break the ice, he didn't want to, but he said, "Do you live here?" He'd start out light, then get into the details of what they'd be doing a little later.

The dark eyed counterpart was in the middle of relieving himself of his suit jacket, and offering to take his interest's, as well. He practically squawked in his face at the idea of a man at such stature as himself ever living in such an undainty place. "No," he reasoned, amused. "Never on my mother's life."

Zero didn't mean the smirk that twitched on his lips. "She wouldn't approve?"

Kaname was bored with the meager small talk and was ready to get down to business, so he looked at the back of Zero's head longingly. His nape was exposed under the collar of his black bartending vest and he couldn't wait to put his hands on him, but if the arms the silverette had crossed over his chest was any indication of his misery and upset, then the tensed, upcurved shoulder blades were. Strong fingers ran up the length of Zero's upper torso, around his shoulders, and down to settle on his biceps. He wasn't muscles like Kaname, but that feminism was what happened to be his favorite thing about the man in front of him. He also, had never participated in gay sex.

As the other mans hands ran up his back, Zero's breath caught. The sickness he felt in the core of his stomach was enough to make him throw up, but he held it in as best he could. It wouldn't do to get sick, but he didn't know if he could do it, and when the binding grip constricted his arms, he was suffocating. He couldn't do it, he absolutely couldn't go through with it, not even if the devil himself came out of the earth and gave him an ultimatum. His thoughts were going out of control and getting the better of him, so he took a few deep breaths through his nose and _tried_. In a bold attempt at addressing the situation, he twirled around to face his tormentor and grabbed his shirt. In all honesty, he was a little angry, but he wasn't going to go through with his little sign of aggression, it was just his only way of coping with the situation. "To be honest, Kaname…" Lavender left brown to fall to the floor between them and his fists loosened around the material of the shirt. Kaname's hands were back, but this time at Zero's waste. "I've… uhm, I've never done this before. With anyone. Well, one person, but not any more." He was rambling, he knew it, but he couldn't help it. He was more than disturbed, he was terrified.

Kaname swiped the grey locks from his soon to be lover's forehead. He was soft in his actions, for a purpose. He knew the young man was scared, and he had to play caring until he could lure him into his clutches with no escape evitable. Whispering with a hint of seduction and a lot of confidence, he replied, "I figured. That's how I prefer it." Zero nodded, still skeptical, but ready to move forward, though vigilantly. He knew nothing of this stranger or his… preferences.

The taller of the two lead the way into the master bedroom, and as soon as the door shut behind Zero, he was thrown back into the wall beside the wooden opening. A hand slammed down next to the right side of his face, startling him into awareness and making him lash out at the supposed attacker. The he threw was caught easily and slammed, too, into the wall on his other side. Reluctant, stubborn, and frightened, the lilac-eyed boy relayed his options in his head. He had gone through this before with himself. Submissive, submissive, submissive. Just lay still and take it and it'll all be okay.

…But he couldn't. He refused to.

He used his other arm to grab hold of Kaname's shirt again and he lifted up his leg as hard and as fast as he could—or so he wanted to, but the bastard moved in as close as possible and restricted his movements. In the next second, a hot mouth descended onto his own. He kept his own mouth shut tight and used his free hand as well as he could to hit the smug look off his face, yet he could only move his wrist so he didn't accomplish as much damage as he'd hoped to. When the older _gentleman_ pulled back to let the other catch his breath, he plunged in just as fast to claim the opened opportunity. The kiss was the wettest, sloppiest, rudest, most painful and demeaning thing he'd ever experienced. He hated spit, the tongue, the biting, and most of all the tingling sensation he got from it. Kaname left the orifice but not before busting the skin of Zero's lip with his teeth, drawing little droplets of blood.

"You sneaky son of a bitch, I didn't agree to being manhandled!"

Kaname violated his mouth for a third time before answering. "That's exactly what you should've expected…" To make his point, he used his free hand to reach in between them to grab a handful of Zero's crotch, in the most painfully tight, grinding clasp. As Zero cried out in pain, Kaname articulated his sexy name in the pierced ear before him. "Zero…" The more masculine of the two didn't appreciate being called such things, and he was sure to make it obvious to his pawn. "We aren't equal here, so do what I say and I might just be nice to you."

Just when the boy seemed as if he'd let what's going to happen, happen, he glared daggers at the brunette, hatred clear in his eyes. He was not about to break down and be the quiet fuck that Kaname wanted. He'd let this happen, he wanted the money, but he wouldn't be agreeable if it was the last shred of pride he'd maintain that night. "Fuck. You."

That didn't deter the Adonis and instead made him even more determined to show the little one his place. "So greedy, Kiryu. First my money, now me… You just can't be sated, can you? Well, soon, very soon, you'll have exactly what you're yearning for."

Quicker than Zero could blink, Kaname was stripping him of his uniform. "Don't you dare tear it, you creep. I can't afford to ruin another one." He could've said something worse, at least he was letting Kaname take it off. It'd have to come off sooner or later, anyway, and sooner was better in both their cases—to finally get to it, and to finally get it over with. When everything was off of the young bartender, he was forcefully turned around and shoved against the wall, and then it began.

Soaked lips and burning appendages touched every part of his backside, leaving trails of saliva and a tickly impressions falling behind them. The jaws leave bloody love bites in their wake, belligerent and possessive, and each time it drew a cry from Zero, who visually cringed. Kaname decided he liked the reaction a lot, apparently, because he kept doing the same thing over and over, much to Zero's dismay. He tolerated it though, because he knew enough of anal sex to know that it was not in the slightest bit comfortable and that he for sure needed the other to care enough to prepare him for his real entry, so he remained compliant, for now.

Zero was far from turned on, but when Kaname put his fingers up to his lips, he didn't hesitate to lather them up avidly with his own sticky saliva. Why Kaname didn't have lube, even after all of the noticeable preparation he went through for this, was a mystery to Zero. What surprised him, was when instead of heading straight for his ass, like he assumed Kaname would, he took the fingers from Zero's face to his chest, in particular, his nipples. He pinched and tweaked them into perkiness, the cool air hit the wetness and when the appendages flicked them hard enough to hurt, Zero bellowed out louder than he should've in unexpected pleasure. He wasn't sure why that had felt so incredible.

Kaname chuckled melodiously in the paler's ear. The moan had stirred him downstairs, as he anticipated, and he began to rub his clothed dick against Zero's naked butt. "Into pain, Zero? I didn't know you liked it rough."

Given the situation, Zero was feeling a little defensive and wasn't in any kind of mood to take any attitude from the asshat. "Oh, yeah," he laced with sarcasm. "Love it."

After a minute, he regretted saying anything. Ever. At all. No sooner had the words left his mouth had Kaname's girth and fully hardened prick shoved itself into the virgin hole, unprepared and dry. To say Zero was in pain would be an understatement, if the gasps and whimpers of agony were anything to go by. If the intruder wasn't holding him up, he'd of fallen to the floor, but as it was he didn't even let the smaller adjust before pounding into the tight entrance in unsuppressed fury. He had never intended on giving Zero a pleasant first time, even when he let the boy slick up his fingers. It had been a diversion, a plan for ensured security. He wanted him to feel safe, comfortable, just so he could crush every little hope out of him. The sobs that so quickly came upon the silver angel, was beautiful to the darkened devil behind him.

He felt powerful pounding, thrust after thrust, into the lithe body, but he didn't like the position. He need more control over him, more dominance. Looking around, but able to keep himself undistracted from his activities, he set his eyes on the desk in the far corner. Picking the man up like he weighed nothing, still firmly planted inside him, Kaname threw Zero onto the hard surface of the cheap imitation of a legitimately handcrafted mahogany wood desk and continued on with his task.

Zero scratched at the surface of the wood, defacing it but hardly caring. The physical torture of this primal act of whatever hatred Kaname had for him was killing him. He could feel the blood trickle down his thighs, one of which was stretched backwards around Kaname's hips, with a bruising grip at his own hip. He was literally being beaten from the inside out and it was beyond painful, causing tears he hadn't shed in years. He threw away all self-righteousness that was left in him and he begged him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. In fact, Zero thought he got off on his pain, and boy was it true.

Kaname reveled in it, enjoyed it… To have the thrill of actually doing something he had dreamed of doing for so long was one come true, and he wasn't going to let it fall through his fingertips. He would run on that anger for as long as it lasted and would destroy the man he'd hunted for years because of what he'd done. He wouldn't let the damned imbecile get away with it. That revenge he was carrying out was what kept him going, kept him thrusting. This was what he wanted, what he had been planning all along, this full-on rape, but as he stared down at the astonishingly perfect beauty of a widowed man, he couldn't help but feel his blackened heart cracking.

XOXOXO

Zero was disoriented, nearly unconscious by the time he was thrown into the comfort of the huge mattress of the king sized bed in the master bedroom. As a thought in the back of his mind, he wondered if that was what heaven was like—a far away lighted salvation in a world of suffering. If so, he was ready to walk towards that light, reach for it with a sure hand, but something was holding him back, pulling him in the wrong direction. Only demons and bad souls could go to hell, and while he may not have been evil when he stepped into the flat, he had unquestionably been corrupted by the devil before him now.

Kaname looked at him with an unresolved expression. The revenge he wished to dish out wasn't how it initially went. He wanted the other man to enjoy it, even through the pain, so that he could own just one more part of him, maybe train him to like it so much that he grew disgusted with himself. "You were so good, Zero." Through the perplexity, the said male couldn't understand what Kaname was saying. "But, we aren't done yet. You haven't had your turn."

He climbed on top of the limp doll, slapping him a couple times upside the cheek to rouse him back to consciousness. It wouldn't do to have him asleep. "Wakey, wakey." The dozens of marks on Zero made the sadist smile genuinely at his handiwork, as sickening as it was to the attacked, and he couldn't help but to make another, right over the doll's precious, hollowed heart. That time, he was much, much gentler in his assault. This was Zero's time, as far as Kaname wanted him to believe. He was encouraged at the muffled sound of Zero's pleasured sounds behind the back of his fist.

Zero didn't want to feel that way, but when, for the very first time that night, Kaname trailed lower and lower until his mouth came in contact with Zero's quickly hardening dick. He lifted pale thighs over his shoulders to get a better angle, and the angel was too shocked and in too much satisfaction to complain. His noises were still half-assed due to the barrier, but Kaname let it go for now. They'd be much louder in a few short moments. He rolled the boy's balls between his fingers, sucking long and hard up and down the shaft like an expert until he noticed the signs of his contracting stomach. He wasn't about to end the pleasure there, so he stopped abruptly.

Garnet eyes locked with pleading amethyst that were silently begging him for that small release from the anguish he had just endured, and they were both ready for it. When Kaname entered into him again, he aimed his plunges upward, in search of a spot he'd knew would set aflame the desire in Zero's middle. He knew exactly when he found it, if Zero's loud groan of, "Again!" was anything to go by. He greatly obliged, loving every minutes of the tight heat around him. He tore the hands from Zero's mouth and forced them above his head, staring into his eyes—another thing he hadn't done at all that night—while he fucked him raw and rough. This time, however, Zero couldn't get enough. He pulled Kaname closer with his leg muscles, fully intending on squeezing him to death in ecstasy, but he didn't really mind as he continued with a relentless pace, each time hitting his angel's prostate dead on.

The "catcher" in the relationship was getting closer and closer to the edge and if this kept going on, he'd plummet over the edge head on, and that's exactly what he did. With the loudest and breathiest cry he could muster, he forced himself to keep his eyes locked with Kaname's as he came. It had to be one of the best orgasms of his life because of all the stimulation he experienced, but the guilt he felt at having doing all this and having felt good over it, was eating away at him. Terribly so.

Kaname finished soon after that, content to not draw it out and finally get some rest. They laid there in their mess together, tired, spent, used, wasted, dirty, soiled, together, and yet somehow alone as their thoughts drifted off to other things until it finally just shut down and they both went to sleep. They didn't cuddle, they didn't even touch or face one another. Kaname turned to his side while Zero settled on his stomach to try and relieve some of the ache in his lower back. That night wasn't about love or passion or pleasure, nor was it about revenge, money, or ensured safety for Zero's twins.

Little did they both know that that night was the beginning of a heartbreaking journey, a long process of recovering from a deep-set hurt that they both experienced so long ago.

XOXOXO

It wasn't a gentle stream of light or a hummed melody of song or the delicious smell of homemade breakfast that awoke Zero from his deep slumber, but the agonizing ache of his backside at the slightest stirring of the awakening ritual he proceeds with every morning. It was unbearable, so much so that he didn't want to get up from the comfort of the king sized bed that was still dressed with the same stained, ruined sheets from the night before. Laying in all of the sweat, blood, tears, and… other body fluids wasn't ideal, but he stayed there a bit longer to get his bearings before deciding on what to do next. Not in the slightest bit astonished or like wise livid, he noticed that the one who had made him like this was no where to be heard nor seen and he concluded that it would be best to leave before he came back, if he ever did.

It was the worst mistake he had ever made. He just wanted to forget about it no matter how much the bastard resembled the one he loved, no matter how alluring his voice was as it drifted over his skin repeating a mantra of his name or the way his very touch could have Zero hypnotized in pleasure and bountiful new feelings he couldn't remember ever having. No, he had to stop. Kaname could have her looks, and give him the most amazing sex he'd ever had, but he couldn't take away his love for her and he could not give him love in return. It was sex, nothing more, and he was certain the prick forgot to pay him, at that. If anything, he'd never see the raven again and at least he relieved a little of his stress.

"Zero…" It was not above a mere whisper in his ear, and yet Zero jolted in fear. No sooner than he heard it than he recognized who, and what, it came from. She was back again, haunting every breath, every step, every occasion he took. Her dark hair hung in her beautiful eyes, but Zero could see no more of her than her arms that clasped behind her back, and her hung head that represented the greatest disappointment. At first he didn't question why she appeared, because there was only one reason, and her disposition proved it true. She was dissatisfied with him, angry even. He had corrupted her image with the guilt that plagued him, utterly devoured him. It tore at his very soul and manifested itself in her image—what he felt, she displayed. It wasn't her face he saw anymore, but a ghost of an evil so deep in his heart that he began to hate himself for what he'd done. How could he, after all, betray her like that? How could he put his love on the line for a night of something… something he'd never obtain or indulge in ever again, even if it was for the so needed money that would save his future?

Temptation had become his worst enemy, but he promised himself and her, that it would never happen again. He'd never let something like this cloud his better judgment and devastate every wall and barrier he put up to ensure that he'd never again touch another person as he'd touched her, that he'd never again trust another heart like he'd trusted her to stay with him forever. "Forgive me, please… I'm so sorry. I'm so… sorry." In his head, she'd never forgive him. "Never again, I swear. I promise." He could still feel the guy's hands and lips on him, sliding over his sweaty skin, forcefully pulling the delicate hair to make Zero cringe and kissing it all better to make a predictable routine of pain, ecstasy, longing, and dread. It sickened him, and made him vulnerable to the onslaught of self-hate.

Sanity was a fragile thing, and day by day Zero was surely losing his to a memory of a long time before. But that day was not the day he'd lose it, not yet, so he reassured himself the best he could and, with much (deserved, in his mind) difficulty, got up from the bed. He'd need to be at work in two hours, judging by the expensive alarm clock on the bedside table, and he'd have just enough time to call Yori or Kaito to come pick him up, though he'd feel bad for waking them up so early. First, however, he remembered that there was a bathroom connected to the bedroom and surely, Kaname wouldn't mind Zero borrowing some of his clothes after having the gratification _fucking_ the silverette so hard and thoroughly. Aching muscles and tired bones protested against the motion of Zero moving to get up, ashamed of the fallen covers that exposed him to all the secrets of the walls. Paying no mind to his unique surroundings nor to the trauma of his body, he carried on to the bathroom.

As he walked around, he smelled the after effects of the sex, felt the dried cum that had dribbled between his legs and that covered his chest, and saw the destruction they had wreaked all around the room. The curtains were torn from when Kaname pushed him against the window, the walls were scratched and clawed to fault, the items he had in piles on his desk were scattered throughout the room, but the furniture that took the most damage was definitely the bed. He didn't think it could ever be slept in again, even if Kaname did replace the bed set. Actually, he corrected himself. When he reached the bathroom, first and for most he assessed himself in the mirror, and discovered that the bed didn't even compare to him. From his neck down to his thighs, he'd unquestionably received the most harm.

The water had never felt so good as he stepped under the spray, but since he'd never expected to be here he didn't bring an overnight bag and he'd have to resolve himself to smelling like the cruel bastard for the rest of the day, at least until he got home from work at the café. The trickles of hot liquid that fell on his sore parts were absolutely wonderful, and he wondered if he could possibly stay under where he was all day. That fantasy was short lived as he remembered his fatherly duties, but for a little while, he felt contentment. The shower truly was luxurious, and just one place he didn't have awful reminiscences. When he was done, he dried off, wrapped a towel around his waist then searched around until he came across a spare toothbrush and brushed his teeth. Half naked and chilled to the bone, he exited the extended bath and walked across the catastrophe they had caused earlier.

There was no way he was wearing Kaname's underwear, so he stopped and crouched by his thrown pile of clothes, but as he grabbed for his boxers… he noticed something bulging from his pant pocket, something that wasn't supposed to be there. Hesitant, uncertain, he stuck his hand in his front pocket and pulled the thing, whatever it was felt like paper, and was shaken to the core at what he found. When he had walked into this agreement he was promised money. He hadn't pictured a lot being given to him, exactly, but he'd actually dissolved any hope of receiving any at all that morning when he woke up to an empty room. What he wasn't expecting, never in his wildest dreams, in fact, was an entire roll of twenty dollar bills bound together by a new, tan rubber band and big enough to surpass the width of his palm. Zero gasped, loudly audible when echoed throughout the empty room. "W-…why?" But he'd never get the chance to actually ask.

Realizing he didn't have time to count it and preferably only take what he needed, he pulled on his boxers and used his towel to dry more drops of water from his hair as he ran to the walk-in closet. Amazingly, there was only one outfit inside. That cut down the time he'd have used to decide on one, but he hoped it wasn't too formal for the café, as they didn't have a uniform like the bar did. He was pleased to find out that the wardrobe consisted of fitted grey slacks and a baby blue(to which he wasn't so pleased) sweater. There were black socks and slick, shiny dress shoes setting on the floor below, too. Had Kaname thought of all this? The circumstances seemed to lead to that conclusion. Without another thought, he wrestled those clothes on, threw the towel in the sink and grabbed what was left of his attire before storming out of the flat, confused as ever, angry at Kaname and himself, and unsettled by the irresoluteness of his future. On the other hand, one thing was for sure: that he'd be getting the girls a gift worthy of them.

XOXOXO

That night before returning to the bar, Zero was able to finally sit down at the kitchen, have a much-deserved break and a cup of relaxing herbal tea, and count the wad of money he found early that morning in his pant pocket before he left the flat Kaname rented for the evening. Judging by the size of the roll, the amount was no small feat, and he had to mentally prepare himself for whatever number it would be. He doubted it would be nearly enough to get him completely out of the dog house with the apartment proprietor, but he hoped it would at least put a dent in his debt to the old man—if not for his kids, then for the owner with a family of his own. First, slender hands cautiously unwrapped the tough rubber band from around the roll, and laid it over to the side, forgotten for the moment.

_Deep breaths, Zero._

_ Deep breaths._

He started counting. One twenty at a time.

One hundred

Two

Five

After a thousand, Zero's eyes could only grow wider and wider as he counted and when he was done, well…

Beating, beating, ever speedy beating was his heart at the self-made suspense. Every little sound that ricocheted above the frequency of the pounding blood in his ears set an alarm off in his adrenaline rush and caused him to startle, beyond nervous. There were so many questions forming behind his eyes, just as it seemed there always were where Kaname was concerned. What if it was just some big hoax and he's going to ask for it back in installments, with interest, or if he didn't actually mean to give away that much, or _worse_, what if it was counterfeit?!

_Jesus Christ…_

Why in the thousands of depths of hell would someone give—yes, _give_, because even though they fucked and Zero basically(did) prostituted himself, it was still way over what it was worth (and that was saying something considering the things he had to go through)—so much money away. To a guy he didn't even know, or so Zero thought, at that! Zero remembered the knowledge the man had of his life's situation and his two girls, and it more than unnerved him. It bothered him quite a bit, actually, which was understanding of a protective father, but there were bigger conspiracies here and if he wanted to figure it all out, he'd have to play his cards right. Obviously, and it just occurred to him, he'd be seeing his tormentor again and soon.

**XOXOXO**

Thanks again, everyone! I'll see you next time!

Also, a quick after note: School is starting up again and not a single one of my story's are complete, but I promise that even though my updates might be few and far between, they will all be finished, they will all be resolved without fail and without shortcuts. I don't want to cut down the length or the quality just so I can get a chapter out. I won't be happy nor proud of myself as an author, so I hope you understand and will stay along with me for the ride. And hey, if you ever want to check up on the newest installment because it's taking too long or whatever, I'm a friendly and social person and I wont be offended at all. That way you aren't worried or agitated or anything haha.

For all fellow students in Uni, or even in highschool (though I hope you're over 18), good luck in school!


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